Romantic Sexuality -- Bisexual

Is there a better word or phrase for what I’m trying to say? I bet. I’ve got no clue. Feel free to tell me if you know.

I first started thinking about being bisexual in the end of 7th grade, and then it was a very hazy, unsure thing. It was like a random idea I had one day, and then I was scared that I wanted to think about it more so I didn’t think about it for quite a while, not until well into 8th grade and even then I was scared to think about it much.

Freshman year of high school, I struggled a lot with defining myself and finding labels that fit. I debated with myself a lot over being bi versus being pan, and I thought of myself as poly(sexual) for a bit, because I wasn’t thinking of and defining bisexual/bi romantic properly back then, and I knew I liked more than just guys and girls.

The summer between freshman and sophomore year is when I found that I felt most comfortable with the term bi romantic. I choose bi over pan, because although I will happily date a person of any gender, gender does have an impact on whether I like a person or not. For instance, I haven’t really found my comfort zone with liking females yet, because as a rule I always see girls as friends first and only let myself think about considering them romantically if they display interest. Also, I don’t like blond girls, not generally. Unless their hair is short or dyed, it just makes me uncomfortable for some reason, and I don’t even have many blond friends. I don’t know, I’m just weird. Guys, I’m much more flexible with because I have a much wider range of options. Also, a lot of guys my age are undesirable for me, so when I like a guy, I tend to like him a lot quickly, and then completely lose romantic interest and then kinda any interest at all. Yes, I know, I’m rough. I know I can be pretty rude, I’ll address that later, don’t worry about it.

Non-binary people are a whole different ballgame, especially since I don’t really know any in my area, I have two friends who might be, but 1. I’m not sure and 2. one is in a relationship and the other is too, well, high-maintenance for me, and 3. no, just no, they’re my friends and only that. So yeah, no romantic partners outside the typical gender binary for me, at least not yet. It’ll happen. Hopefully soon.

So yes, I’m bi romantic. And not many people know that, but I hope someday I’ll be able to safely be out to my family without them being upset and them understanding, but that doesn’t seem likely. As a bisexual man,I'm just looking for bisexual woman in my school with my dude who is also bi.I hope we all will find our true love finally.


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